You can find advice on your love life in all sorts of places.
Magazines, the internet, close friends and family or even drunk women in the ladies toilet down your local pub. Love life advice is everywhere, whenever you need it. But what is the best piece of love advice? What’s the one piece of advice that has stuck, that resonates, that really touched you? This is the best love advice I ever received and I am sharing it with you.
At first it’s simple but at a second glance you’ll realise how deep it goes.
Throw back to 3 months after the worst heartbreak I’ve ever experienced, I am sitting at a bar in America. I’m with a lady I’ve known for a couple of days through an event and one thing leads to another. I find myself spilling every detail of how I am feeling and what I am going through. Crying at a bar in a Casino (classy), I started to be truly honest. Funny how you can be honest at great ease with a stranger, sometimes more so than you can be with your close ones.
After baring my soul to this woman, who by the way I completely adored on day one of meeting, I felt like a weight had been lifted. She began to tell me how I’d meet someone else, how everything would change and how I’d look back on this situation with logic but no emotion. I replied telling her about how terrible my taste in men had become, how my trust in others had vanished and that I couldn’t put myself through this again. Then she told me the story of how she met her husband and how before him, things weren’t easy. She too experienced something so similar to me, everything she said really resonated. It was a bit freaky how similar our situations had been when she was my age, if I am honest.
And then she said “be with the man who will hold your coat”. Which is the best piece of love advice I’ve ever received.
When she was in a bad place, her now husband held her coat so that she could dance. He stood and watched her dance because he knew she needed it. That’s all you need to know about her story.
On the surface of the advice you think about the physical holding of a coat. There’s more to the advice than you think.
Be with the man who will hold your coat means:
- Be with the man who will help and support you.
- who will take the weight off you, when something is dragging you down.
- Be with the man who will remove what is holding you back.
- who will let you do what you need to do, feel what you need to feel, but be there for you.
- and yes, be with the man who will physically hold your coat, it’s a kind gesture. Chivalry doesn’t have to be dead.
“Find the man who will hold your coat” is the best piece of love advice I ever received. This advice has stuck me for a whole year and I can’t imagine it ever coming unstuck.
After I had written this post, my boyfriend text me. In that text he mentioned how he happily holds my coat when he takes photos for me. Fate?
(Photos by Ella Ryder)